Things we find hilarious.
Some of this is from our very own witty repartee, some of it we stole from other people and wicked awesome shows like The Office, Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, but it’s all funny. At least to us.
“Would you describe the sound as Hitchcockian?”
“They were attached at the lips.”
“Love is an investment, information is insurance.”
“But you can bake, and that’s important.”
“As a kind of side project, I dispense fashion advice.”
“It’s like Vegemite, stinky at first, but then it grows on you.”
“I want a statue of myself in the lobby, holding a musket, staring down danger.”
“I don’t have time to be responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in your life.”
“I only drink caffeine socially.”
“You can’t take the cool out of me, I’m still full of pimp juice.”
“I only have so many braless years left!”
“Any drugs in here?”
“Just caffeine.”
“I am the cavalry!”
“You’d think if hell froze over it would be on the news.”
“We’re Nunnery girls, shouldn’t we play to our strengths?”
“You need to lay off the caffeine Grrrrrrant, you’re downright testy!”
“You’d be surprised what one can find with a few nimble keystrokes.”
“You can buy new stuff, but you can’t get a new party.”
“And how are you going to stop me?”
“Force of will, strength of character, karate chop.”
“Annoy tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind!”
“Ah yes, that well known bedrock pragmatism of elfish culture.”
“Two words – Game on.”
“Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.”
“Her boobs look more real than her lips.”
“Let’s just say…I was prolific.”
“They barely let me socialize with me. I’m a bad influence.”
“Why do you insist on pissing me off? You’re not smart enough for that.”
“Am I naked? Because in my nightmares I’m usually naked.”
“Over stepping is your main form of transportation.”
“I kind of rock.”
“I’m gagging on the inside.”
“Grab your lip gloss and your pepper spray, sweetheart, your date is here.”
“Can you do me a big favor without asking a lot of questions?”
“Isn’t that the bedrock upon which our friendship was founded?”
“It’s like you’re made of velour or something.”
“Love stinks. You can dress it up in sequins and shoulder pads, but one way or another, you’re just gonna end up alone at the spring dance strapped in uncomfortable underwear.”
“Well, I want to congratulate you. Shake your hand. Congratulations! You’ve been named the world’s biggest cockroach. This award is given in recognition in your unparalleled lack of decency and humanity. Bravo. You’re going to die friendless and alone. If I want you to speak, I’ll wave a Snausage in front of your nose. You use Mandy again to convince yourself you’re not a loser, I will ruin your life. Got it?”
“Hey, what do you say we do your Miranda Rights in harmony this time? I’ll take lead. You take tenor?”
“I’ve met smarter sandwiches.”
“He’s a moron, but he’s a well armed moron.”
“That boy doesn’t know it yet, but he’s the living dead.”
“Did you just make a Jane Austen reference? The end of days really is upon us.”
“Do you have a trust fund? Always make sure!”
“Are we wearing pants?”
“Let’s start with a group hug!”
“You could not be more beautiful at this moment!”
“Her doobie was right next to my face!”
“Don’t try, just be!”
“Ow! Ow!”
“Somebody boobed our car!”
“Can we get five large Baja Blasts?”
“Seriously, why do bird suddenly appear everytime you are near?”
“You have grossly under estimated my wrath.”
“I think this is my rebellious phase.”
“I may or may not be vicariously high…Does anyone have the munchies?!?”
“Gucci? Prada? Does Antonio Banderez live near here?”
“Bob Marley…so appropriate.”
“When I ordered a quesadilla did it sound like I said ‘one ice cream sundae’ to any of you?”
“I swear I said ‘Just a trim’ but I guess it came out ‘Gay Beatle, please!’”
“I have been 18 for over a year now!”
“I feel like this friendship is one sided.”
“One a scale from one to Charmin 2-ply, I give this porta-potty a -3: Smooth stick.”
“Green my braid!”
“NAIL! What are you? A surgeon?”
“That’s what she said.”
“Will you…wait for me one second while I tie my shoe?”
