How to Spot a Skeez
Spotting a skeez can be a complex and ambiguous process. One might find oneself momentarily decieved by a skeez in Cary Grant‘s clothing. You may be distracted by the fabulousness of his hair or the shininess of his shoes, or the enticing scent of his cologne. To shed light on these deceptive lures we have compiled this list: How To Spot a Skeez. This is not to say that an individual skeez will encompass each of these qualities. In fact, skeezes can be found in any and all walks of life. Rich or student, hot or not, young to middling. This is merely a guide to assist in your quest to spot and stop skeezes in their hauty little tracks.
A skeez…
1. Has been on considerably more first dates than second dates, third dates, fourth dates…etcetera
2. Has better hair than you or, at the very least, thinks he does
3. Often opinionated slash wrong
4. Has a high opinion of his persuasive skills
5. Misconception of suavity
6. Has made out with more than 2 girls in one night and isn’t aware that’s a problem
7. Is familiar with designers
8. Is under the impression his “hotness” requires no attempt at personal hygiene
9. Spends more than 2 hours on facebook and slash or personal grooming per day
10. Asks inappropriate personal questions about your romantic history
11. Overshares about his own conquests
12. Refers to them as (quote) conquests (close quote)
13. Even if he knows nothing about a subject he still maintains that he knows more than you
14. No ambition slash faux ambition
15. Depends on others to keep him in the social loop
16. Has more female friends than male and claims to have made-out with all of them
17. Bathes in the fragrance of his choice
18. The scent of his desperation is almost as pungent as the fragrance he bathed in
19. Has no concept of personal space
20. Doles out dating advice under the mistaken notion that he is an authority on the subject
21. Does not take his own advice
22. His subtlety is obvious
23. In all seriousness uses phrases like “you know it” , “fo shizzle” , “da bomb” , “tap that” and “wazzup”
24. Is embarrassingly competitive
25. Clearly finds you inferior based solely on your femininity
In short he is nothing more than a gigantic pile of redeeming qualities. Best of luck skeez spotting. Stay tuned for the second installment of this Skeez How to series: How to Stop a Skeez.
Wrong type of skis
Man skeez
A little about us.
Funny pants, check. List of humorous references, check. Sleep deprived, check. Big words no one uses anymore, check (occasionally and often out context just for kicks.) Sugar high, check. Everything you need to write a superb blog about six good friends being single and having an inordinate amount of fun. We know, we sound like The Real World. However we are a lot less racey, most of the time, and a whole lot more smarter, all of the time.
Welcome to the nunnery, where Baja Blast runs through our veins and we write out words like slash.
